Sex ethni-City

“All we talk about anymore is big balls or small dicks. How does it happen that four smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It’s like seventh grade but with bank accounts. What about us? What we think, we feel, we know, Christ! Does it always have to be about them? Just give me a call when you’re ready to talk about something besides men.”
Miranda Hobbes (Sex and the City)

Sitting in the middle of a restaurant today, surrounded by clinking cutlery and the scent of coffee, I looked at my three girlfriends and announced “We are basically the ethnic version of Sex and the City.”

With our completely different ethnic backgrounds, none of us reallllyyy fit the mold of the original SATC gals, but for the sake of the topic, I am bestowing upon myself the role of Carrie. I know, I know, I don’t have the hair for it, but I’m the writer of the group and I am using my friends as the subject for an article so I think I qualify. Four ethnic girls in the city, I baptise us “Sex ethni-City”, get it?

Lunching with these bright, intellectual, ambitious friends of mine, I began to think about the different topics that make up our conversations. Here we were, chatting about all kinds of interesting things, and yet, women our age are often thought to be gossipy and somewhat shallow, consumed by tinder dates and finding a boyfriend. So for the sake of smashing that stereotype I’ve decided to share some snippets from our leisurely luncheon. But first, a story.

. . .

The other night, at the bar where I work, one of the male bartenders had a trio of his friends loitering near the beer taps. They were there for two hours at least, trying to scab free drinks enjoying the atmosphere. I don’t want to be judgmental in the way that I describe them, so I’ll let you decide for yourself what type of guys they were based on some of their conversations, as follows…

“Stylistically, what is your favourite movie?”

Trick question. A question like this cannot be answered with your ‘real’ favourite movie. ‘Anything with Leonardo DiCaprio’ is therefore not a valid answer. A question like this demands a pretentious answer, so I said ‘A Single Man’ by Tom Ford, because it’s pretty cinematic, thanks to it’s use of grainy film stock, a focus on colour and close-up camera angles. I watched it when I was 14 and didn’t really get it, or like it that much at the time but guess what, it’s now apparently my favourite movie STYLISTICALLY. Not many people have seen it which worked in my favour because the less well-known the movie, the more pretentious. Turns out none of them had seen nor heard of it. Hannah – 1, Guys – 0.

Guy to one of his friends: “Would you rather, have sex with three hot supermodels but no-one believes that it happened OR not have sex at all, but everyone thinks that you had sex with three hot supermodels?”

This question isn’t even worth an explanation, I am sure you understand the type of guys we are dealing with here. I will add,  for the guys in question, both options in the above multiple choice are, and always will be, hypothetical.

When I mentioned to the bartender that he and his friends have ‘interesting’ conversations, he proceeded to ask, “Well, what do you and your friends talk about?” I think I brushed it off with some pathetic answer like ‘I dunno, relationships, boys…” My answer was partly because I couldn’t be bothered telling him what we talk about, and partly because I respect my gals too much to divulge what we REALLY talk about, because GIRL CODE, but I instantly regretted not offering a better answer.

So with that in mind, sitting around the table at lunch today with my friends talking about things other than relationships and boys, I decided I was really proud of us. To prove it, here are some of the stimulating and diverse topics we covered today…

  • The threat that artificial intelligence poses to mankind and that by the time the media starts fear-mongering around this topic, like it currently does with terrorism, it will probably be too late and the robots will have ended the human race. Same goes for global warming.
  • The fact that one of the girls mums may have overheard her and a guy friend swapping explicit stories of their sex-capades. Mortifying.
  • The transgender debate, and the different opinions people have around this topic. Someone brought up a documentary that suggested being allowed to remove one’s penis is no different to being able to remove limbs for sexual gratification (yes, apparently there are people in the world who fetishize the idea of cutting off their own limbs), raising the question – If gender reassignment is legal, why do we frown upon limb removal for sexual reasons. This one caused some debate.
  • Whether a watch at Fossil, which claims to be ‘rose gold’ is in fact ‘rose gold’ because we are pretty damn sure that that particular gold is not overly ‘rose-y’. We know our rose golds.
  • And of course, our plans and dreams for the future and what we are currently doing to get there.

I could list plenty more topics, but that’s probably enough for one blog post. Obviously some topics are meaningful, others not so much. Right about now though, I wish I had a time machine, so I could rewind back to work Friday night, and have that bartender ask me again “Well, what do you and your friends talk about?”

Since time machines don’t currently exist, perhaps I’ll just send him the link to this blog instead. Or suggest that he keep an eye out for ‘Sex ethni-City’, coming to a screen near you!

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